


To Kill or Be Killed

by dracarysburns



Series: The Kara Lynn Palamas Files [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Abuse Mentions, Brainwash mentions, Episode: s02e18 The Frenemy of My Enemy, F/M, Fitzsimmon (mentions), Gen, I mean I don't hate the team but like Kara really didn't like Coulson and Co. so..., Kara Lynn Palamas & Grant Ward Friendship, Minor Swearing, Skyeward (mentions), Slight Canon Divergence, Some Coulson bashing, Some Hunter Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4201509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracarysburns/pseuds/dracarysburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because Kara Lynn Palamas figures out that Agent Phillip Coulson has no idea what he's doing.</p><p>  <i>or the one were kara almost kills an agent of s.h.i.e.l.d.</i></p><p>**A series of related one-shots based on Kara Lynn Palamas**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Started With a Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during The Frenemy of my Enemy.
> 
> **Canon diverge:
> 
> Grant and Kara are not together (in the romantic sense)  
> Bakshi is not in the trunk of Grant’s car, sort of  
> I hate the word closure, so that's not coming up.  
> Kara's a little more snarkier than her show counterpart.

_ “Hey, sweetie. Why don't you drop by? Love to catch up.” _

The truth was Kara would rather be torturing Bakshi than helping Agent Phillip Coulson.

(And by torture that means playing Battleship with Grant.)

Director or not, she didn’t trust a man who would deliberately hand people over to their abuser. (In her case, her would-be abuser. She has no proof that Coulson or anyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. knew about what Morse did to her, but she’s guessing that it wouldn’t have mattered.) Still, if Coulson was able to do that with a clear conscious, then she has every right to be a bit scared what the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D.  might do to her or Grant. Especially, since he has a cyborg and they have Bakshi. They were a little more than fucked to say the least. The only redeeming quality about the half-man-half-machine was his humor and she only found out about that after he pointed a fired missile to _her head_. It was kind of hard to be at ease with Turbo-man standing right in front of her watching her every move.

And when Coulson called Grant, she knew he would come and help her because that’s just the kind of person that Grant was. Noble-to-a-fault Grant Ward. She sighed, he really needs to learn the meaning of self-preservation.


	2. Some Call it Protocol, Some Say it's Brainwashing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Kara Lynn Palamas figures out that Agent Phillip Coulson has no idea what he's doing. Still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as before :)

  _“After that, I put you through the Tahiti protocol, and then you're free to go.”_

When she hears the term “Tahiti protocol” and she’s pretty sure that Coulson doesn’t realize that it’s a form of brainwashing. A way to extract who you are as person and make you different. It makes you into a person who is  _worthy_  of being part of society. A person that Coulson created. Like Whitehall. Only difference is Whitehall created soldiers and Coulson uses people like playthings. At least Whitehall was honest and that makes her cringe. It isn’t right to mess with the human mind and she’s proof of it. And if he does know that, then he doesn’t understand how dangerous it can be.

(Amazingly, she doesn’t feel bad for Bakski. Purely indifferent to the man they brainwashed months back. Sunil Bakshi was just an end to the mystery of who was Kara Lynn Palamas. Not surprising, it seems even with his "compliance" she's still vaguely aware of who she is.)

Also didn’t the Tahiti protocol make Coulson crazy or something?

At any rate, Grant says yes and she wants to strangle him. She doesn’t want put him at risk and much less go back with those people who want him dead. She can’t lose Grant.

(Like she lost Whitehall.)

She has to calm herself, thinking of  _him_  won’t help and it only makes her feel like a piece of her is gone and she can never get it back. And that’s what Coulson is planning on doing to Grant.

Grant looks unconcerned when finishes his talk with Coulson. He mentions that there’s a package he needs to get and they'll most likely need it for the mission.


	3. Compliance Is Rewarded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Kara Lynn Palamas knows Grant Ward isn't evil... He's just weird.

**"You're gonna do whatever he says ... understand?”**

_“Of course. I'm more than happy to comply.”_

Two wrongs don’t make a right, she knows that. She also knows that Bakshi been sleeping on their floor in Mexico for almost a month. So, Grant putting him in the trunk was hardly necessary. But there they were, surrounding the trunk of Grant’s car like Bakshi has been locked up there for days, and not hours.

(Sometimes Kara thinks Grant like to get a rise out of people. As if to make them believe he’s this big bad, when most of the times plays board games and acts like a child. At his best Grant is a lovable, albeit board-loving hero and at his worst, he’s a soldier. A broken, leaderless soldier who dedicated his life to a mission.)

“Get him out of there.” It’s ironic that Bakshi is someone that Coulson suddenly cares about saving given that he almost had Agent Simmons killed. And a multitude of other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Not to mention the agents that were brainwashed thanks to him. Of all people less deserving of  _any_  sympathy, it’s Bakshi. She bites back a remark on how S.H.I.E.L.D. handles its prisoners. The Fridge and a magnitude of other disclosed locations were worse than the trunk of Grant’s car.

(She blinks and bites the inside of her cheek. She remembers the Fridge. She was there… She…)

She shakes her head. They have bigger issues to deal with. For example, Coulson and his inconsistent story. Something feels wrong.


	4. If At First You Don't Succeed, Stop Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Kara Lynn Palamas understands that it's going to take a while before Fitz and Ward fix their friendship.

**“So, Fitz... how've you been?”**

The way Grant sees it, he saved Agent Fitz and Agent Simmons over a year ago when he decided to drop them in the ocean. Kara did look somewhat horrified when he told her.

“They would of found a way, they always do.”

“But you tried to drown them.”

“If I had shot them, then their blood would be on my hands. I couldn’t forgive myself. They are two of the most brilliant people I have ever met, it was had the honor of knowing... Fitz suffered brain damaged because of me. But they are alive. Kara, I don’t care if they hate me for the rest of their lives. They found a way. Just like I said they would.”

But given that Fitz tried to kill Grant. It’s better that they never speak to each other ever again for their own safety or sanity for that matter. Grant might be ecstatic to see Fitz but it’ll never be the same. Somewhere along the line Grant actually has to accept that Fitz might never be able to forgive him. And on that same line, if they ever get there, Fitz and Grant might have a long conversation about that day.

(That is if Fitz doesn’t kill him first or vice versa. Although, she pretty sure Grant could never pull the trigger.)


	5. Love Thyself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Kara Lynn Palamas doesn't work for S.H.I.E.L.D.

**_“My name is Kara, and I don't work for you anymore.”_ **

It begins with the former-merc and ends with this Quinjet almost crashing. All because Hunter had to open his fucking mouth. For a newly dubbed Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., he kind of sucks at his job. Which she’s not even sure what it is. All Hunter seems to being to do this entire time is making snide comments on her former-condition.

“Are you sure, this one isn’t…” and “Tell me something, 33, do you talk or did the psychopath over here program you like Bakshi?”

(Grant almost took out his gun on that last one.)

When she sticks a knife to Agent Fitz’s throat, she knows she might lose Grant and for second she honestly doesn’t care. 

Kara is not a soldier for HYDRA or plaything for S.H.I.E.L.D. She’s not Agent 33. She is not an agent of anything. She lost herself all those months ago. She lost her face. Her life. Everything. But she is stronger than that it would seem. She is no longer the helpless brainwash victim. She’s just Kara and they’ll never know what that means because they could not possibly understand what happened to her.

She owes a lot recovery to Grant, but mostly she thinks she owes it to herself. Or at least the person she once was.

And she doesn’t owe anything to Coulson or S.H.I.E.L.D.


	6. “This is about Skye.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Kara Lynn Palamas knows Grant would do anything for Skye.
> 
> (and that terrifies her)

**“This is about Skye.” _// The Skye who shot you three times?_ Four.**

The balance of good verses evil comes down to finding a girl who went missing a few days ago. Kara thinks she might hate a girl she's only meet while she was with Whitehall. 

Even while Grant talked about this old team as a collective whole, he reserved the longer talks about Skye and her alone. Kara had long since accepted that Grant did care about her as a friend, as family, but never like the way he viewed Skye. That being said, Coulson made a huge mistake of bringing Grant.

(And she wasn’t wrong.)

To be clear, Kara doesn’t hate Skye. She doesn’t even know her or really remember her. She knows Grant might love Skye, and despite the incident at the hotel… his body really responded positive when she had Skye’s face. It might have been Agent May’s voice that ruined everything? But she knew Skye was Grant’s weak point. Everyone has one and Skye just happens to be Coulson's and Grant's.

The thing is Kara isn't stupid enough to think Grant won't run after Skye.  **Four times**. That's how many time she shot him. That's how many wounds she'd to fix. And despite knowing that... Knowing that it took a while to heal. Knowing that they are in enemy territory. Grant would still go after her. And she's not sure how she feels about that. 

Maybe he wants to protect her.

Maybe to apologize.

Maybe even just to see her.

There's too many maybes for Kara's liking. 

(Kara is quite positive Grant will see Skye and maybe a part of her is worried. Worried that he might not get the reunion that he wants. Worried that Skye will react like Agent Fitz. She is worried for her friend who is chasing someone who might not want him there.)

It takes a moment to pick Hunter up and make their way back to the Quinjet. 

* * *

 

The Quinjet is quiet after Grant comes back. There's no need to say anything. Coulson's with S.H.I.E.L.D. and they await further directions. Like good little agents. 

(Kara hates it and hate herself for staying. But she isn't exactly leaving without Grant.)

"What happened?" she asks a few hours later. Hunter and Fitz are in the far end of the Quinjet and way from them.

"Skye," his voice is barely above a whisper, "she was there and then she was gone."

"Do you think she's..."

Grant doesn't confirm or deny her suspicions, but she’s almost certain Skye is special.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a chunk of this chapter on receipt paper and I had nothing else to do. So... ya.


End file.
